she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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