If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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