Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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