you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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