Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
