He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
