is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
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