btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
