found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
