I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
Small penises have feelings too.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Randomize
