there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
Randomize
