Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
