THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
