Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
