I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
