Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Randomize
