Welp...herpes.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Randomize
