She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
Randomize
