All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
I molested 6 butterflies tonight
i dont even know how to be here
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Randomize
