My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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