I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
