I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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