im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
Lo siento on account of my penis...
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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