yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
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