So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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