Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Randomize
