some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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