When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Randomize