It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
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