Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Randomize
