I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize