we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
