96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
