At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
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