Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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