I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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