i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize