btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Randomize
