Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
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