I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize