sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Randomize
