READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
