I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
He did a backflip because drugs
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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