He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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