Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
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