dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
