I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Randomize
