You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
