see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
This toilet bowl is my home.
Randomize
