Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Randomize
