Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Randomize
