Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
