theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
