you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Randomize
