Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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