Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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