I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
What happened to fro yo and sex?
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
