my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
