I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
false alarm, still single
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