Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
this is an emotional support booty call
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
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