it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Randomize