This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
Randomize
